Let's Talk About Words

            What did James Lowell mean when he said, "A weed is no more than a flower in disguise"? A weed is a weed because we call it that. To a little child, a sow thistle is a pretty flower. Even to adults, a field of dandelions can look as beautiful as a garden of flowers. All that one needs is a change of perspective to change a weed into a flower. Have you ever been frustrated by a car driving too slow, until you realized that is a new student driver or even an older person? You now longer feel angry; you maybe feel compassionate and understanding. The person is still driving too slow, but what changes is your perspective. How many things in life could we look at or classify differently if we only changed our attitude? If we could look at a problem or situation from another point of view? Can we change the weeds of our life into flowers? Read my words and see my quote at  http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

               Love is what we desire from when we are young, but what is love? Love is usually based on need fulfillment and how another person makes you feel. I love him because he makes me feel special. I love her because I feel happy when I am around her. I love him because he is funny. I love her because she is beautiful. I love them because they have always been there for me. Can we love one another free from those feelings and needs? Giving and receiving unconditional love is exactly that. Some needs may still be met based on giving and receiving love with no conditions, but this love is based on truth. It is loving someone for their positive as well as their negative traits. That doesn't mean you like that trait or ignore their negative behavior, but you love them anyway. If couples, families, and friends could love one another unconditionally with an open mind and heart and a willingness to look within themselves, then this relationship could be the greatness catalyst

        Today's Positive Quotation topic is "Breaking someone's spirit". Linda Picone states that words are such powerful weapons, but I will take it one step further and say that thoughts are just as powerful. Most of the spiritual books that I read discuss how powerful one's thoughts and intentions are. They claim that people create their experience of the world based on how you think about it. There are countless songs like the one by Sister Hazel that sing, "If you want to be somebody else, change your mind." Not change your circumstance, not change your words and not change someone else. Even in the movie "Don Jon" that I saw today, his love interest was trying to change him. Relationships can indeed be the catalyst for change, but the decision, the intention, the thought must come from within that person. We all know that hitting someone and calling names can hurt, but intentions and thoughts can hurt others as well as ourselves. When

           "When a friend is in trouble...Think of something appropriate and do it." said E.W. Howe. He was a novelist that passed away in 1937 yet that advice stands the test of time. Instead of asking others how you can help, spend some time in thought and decide what you can do to help whatever the circumstance is. This can be applied to helping people that you don't know as well. I have always wanted to help others yet I never felt that I had enough money to make a difference. After some soul searching, I realized that I could help others with my time. I volunteered at a women's shelter helping clean and organize their recreational space, in addition to watching the children so that the mothers could attend meetings. That was an appropriate way for me to help others in need. What is your way? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

           Today's post in The Book of Positive Quotations quotes Charles De Gaulle as saying," Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own". After reading this, my first thought is that it is wrong, that people need others in times of crisis. How is it that to be a "person of character" one must handle it alone? After much contemplation, I have come to realize that although you can rely on family and friends to help you through a crisis, only you can truly understand what you feel and what would be the best response. A person's reaction could be talking it over with friends, accepting help from family members, but those responses still fall back on oneself. One must, on their own, accept the help if they choose after thought and consideration. My choice would be to read book after book about our soul and our purpose for living as a means of facing a cri

         What did Hermann Hesse mean by the quote, "Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom"? Knowledge is facts, information and skills that a person can acquire from experience, and the definition of wisdom is the quality of having knowledge and experience. At first glance they do not seem that different, but as you break the definitions down you realize that others can teach you knowledge through their words and their actions. Wisdom seems to be your own interpretation of the knowledge that you are exposed to. It is your thoughts, feelings and responses to all that you learn, situations that you are in and circumstances that you encounter. Intelligence is a trait that most people are in awe of, but in many ways that is a talent or a God given gift. One's ability to learn knowledge is determined by drive and ability, yet wisdom is limitless. All people possess an infinite ability to gain wisdom from the life they are living. Read my words and see my quotes a

         What can you learn from difficult situations? Can you learn to be empathetic, sympathetic, caring? Can you learn about yourself that you are strong, you are capable, you are competent? I have encountered many arduous situations in this lifetime. I was in a difficult  marriage; my father fought and died from brain cancer at 55, and I have struggled financially for many years as a single mother of three to name a few. What have I learned from these? I gained much knowledge from how I responded to each and every one of these times. I discovered about myself that I am indeed, strong, loving, capable, empathetic, sympathetic, caring, competent and so much more. Think back on the situations of your life. Remember how you responded. That will show your true essence.

         Reality by definition is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. What is each of our realities? Is it how life actually exists or rather as they appear to us? When we interact with others on a personal or professional level, we must understand that each of us sees our own behavior and the circumstances with our own view or filter of life. This perception comes from the life we have lived, all of our circumstances and experiences. Years ago, there was a movie called He Said, She Said which showed various situations of a couple happening, but from each of their point of view. It was an interesting concept that each has their perception of what was happening. I would like to believe that the events of my life would not make me see a person or situation different than anyone else would; yet life has proved that I do. Think also about before the microscope was invented or before we learned that the world was not, indeed, f

          When faced with conflict, many people choose to stay neutral and not get involved. In my life when their has been disagreements among family, friends or at work, I have tried to stay out of it so that others do not get mad at me. I have realized though that not choosing sides does not prevent the issue from affecting my life. In addition, since I do not like conflict and have always abhorred fighting, I will push my own feelings down. That choice usually backfires as well, when my feelings come out with too much emotion at a later date. As I get older, I have come to realize that there are times that I must make a stand or pick a side. I just need to learn how to do that in the moment. Over the next year one of my goals is to make changes in how I live my life. One of those changes is that I choose to express my beliefs with love and consideration. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

       What can we learn about the changing seasons? With the first day of Autumn tomorrow, I look forward to the changing seasons, but I await this weather the most. There are many changes in the weather throughout the year living in Chicago. I get too hot in the summer and look forward to the cooler weather; then in the middle of winter, I pine for a warm summer breeze. The difference in each one makes me appreciate the other as does all of life. I can appreciate love more when I encounter hate. I value peace more when I encounter turmoil. I long for wealth when I experience lack of money. At times when I am experiencing the negative aspect, I forget that everything changes, and I lose touch with what "lacking" gives me. Then life, like the seasons, change, and I remember once more that the rough times enable me to appreciate the good times even more. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

                                          I am impressed with other people's talents whether it is in being great at a sport, singing songs, being an award winning actor or various other talents. I have always felt that I am "a jack of all trades but a master of none", meaning that I can do many things but have never been extraordinary at any. Having a gift or talent is something that you were born with or as some call it "god given". I do think that we all have some special gift or talent, but what sets those apart from others is that they realized their special ability and pursued it. That is what they should be proud of; that is what should be applauded. I hope that my daughters discover their gifts and pursue them with their whole heart and soul. At 49, I am still looking for mine.

        How true are Mark Twain's words, "I can live for two months on a good compliment"? When I started out as an early childhood educator in 2001, my Director was very knowledgeable and taught me well. In fact, I often hear her words in my head as I perform my job of taking care of infants. Like I said, she really knew her stuff, but she never complimented me. She felt that as working adults we should not need to hear praise from her. Fast forward a few years, to another Director I worked for. She would leave notes occasionally in the room complimenting something we did, or put a note in my mailbox saying she appreciated how hard I worked. She even now, keeps me in her thoughts when new opportunities for growth in this field come up because she knows and acknowledges how dedicated I am to Bright Horizons. Of course, I was a hard worker with the first Director, but which Director helped me to grow and be all that I can be? Which Director made me proud of the job tha

          I have always been disappointed in myself for mistakes that I have made, although I have also tried to learn from them. I am a very introspective person and constantly devour articles and books that I believe will help in the evolution of my soul, but I am still saddened by some of the choices that I have made and mistakes of the past. If I could just remember what I learned instead of dwelling on the error of my ways, maybe I truly could master it and move on. To tie in a previous post, this can be something new that I will do this month. I forgive my mistakes, since they lead me to today.

         Although we can't change the things that we did in the past, we have the power to change the future. Too many people get stuck on the past, feeling like they are defined by it especially when people are young. As I near the age of 50, I have come to understand that one true fact about life is that everything changes. People change, styles change, friends change and even beliefs, hopes and wishes do. When I was younger, it was hard to imagine the future that I am living now. I have done things in my life and hurt people I love, but I know that I can learn from these things and make better choices and decisions. Hopefully, the people that I love will forgive me and know that we can all be different in the future.

          Sigmund Freud said, "Love and Work are the cornerstones of our humanness." The love doesn't need to be a romantic love, and the work doesn't have to be a career, but they are what gives our life purpose and meaning. I am lucky that my work also gives me both, love and purpose. I have been taking care of infants for more than 12 years now. I would never have thought that it was possible to love, so deeply, children that are not mine, but I do. I know that the love I feel will never run out; it just keeps coming with every new baby. I am not saying that I don't look forward to a day off or the end of my shift, but I love my babies. When I am on vacation, I wonder how they are. When they move to the toddler unit, I miss them every day. It truly is the best kind of work. I would agree that we need someone to love and something to do to be happy, no matter who you love or what you do, and I am grateful for both.

        When I set a goal or when my to do list gets too large, there are always excuses to make. I am too busy; I don't feel well; I am overwhelmed. Thomas Jefferson's quote states that with the right attitude, you can achieve your goals, but nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude. Some days I wonder if I will achieve this goal of writing in my blog every day, but after reading this I know that I will achieve this goal. I will have a positive attitude, and I will deal with any challenges that come my way.

            The dictionary defines good as that which is morally right; righteous. Is that your definition of good? I strive to be an honest person, a kind person, a loving person, but is that a description of a "good" person? We see goodness in ourselves and in others, but is the label of goodness a judgment or a quality? I choose to be the qualities of  honest, loving, kind and fair but who decides what is good? Is a person good if they volunteer and help others, yet in their heart they dislike the ones they are helping? Or talk negatively about others? It is important to show goodness to the world, but have goodness in your heart as well.

        I work at an Early Childhood Center where consistency is very important. The infants thrive on consistent care givers, consistent playmates and a consistent schedule. Is consistency as important for adults? Oscar Wilde claims that "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." It states that change can help us be more flexible and open minded. In some ways, I am very open to change and new things. I love to travel to different places and explore new places to hike, but in other ways I like the tried and true. I order the same food from my favorite restaurants; I wear the same style and color of clothes and spend much of my free time reading, writing, watching movies or walking. I vow to use my imagination every month to think of something new I can try to have a little inconsistency in my life.

        Eric Hoffer said, "To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are." I agree that in order to grow, change and become a more evolved person, we should look at our behaviors closely. Others will look at a person and say that they are stubborn or lazy or any other description, but that person can't see that about themselves. It is difficult to look hard and accept the truth about our own faults, but that is truly the only way to change. I have always been a reactor. I am not confrontational so when others treat me bad or say mean things, I hold it in for too long and then explode. Numerous self help books claim that you can not control what others do; you can only control how you respond. I want that to be true about myself. I no longer want to just "react" to the people and circumstances of my life.  I want to change. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

          Making decisions in life, especially when it comes to your children, are difficult to make. I am always fearful of making the wrong decision, so sometimes I just avoid the issue. I will pray on it, talk to other's about it and do tarot card readings all in an attempt to be told what to do. Fear holds me back in many aspects of my life; even affecting decision making. Not choosing or feeling like you are not making a decision making is probably the worst action I could take. I promise myself today to be strong and face my fear of failure and making mistakes. Not choosing has lead me to many mistakes in my life already, so why not try choosing now?

      We all belong to groups in this world; groups like families, friends, race, class and religion to name a few, but we all belong to one larger group as referred to as humankind. I read once that in order to be loving person, we must be loving to those we dislike, or those we feel don't deserve our love. It is easy to be a loving person towards those that we care about and treat us well, but how about others? I would like to believe that I am a "loving" person, but I do struggle with this perspective. Can I be loving to all of humanity? Can I be loving to those who have hurt me the most? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

      The fact is that we all fail in life but should we keep trying or give up? I must admit that I don't fail that often, but that is because I don't try new things that often either. After not making the cheerleading squad in 7th grade when my friends made it, I only joined and tried things that I was sure I could succeed at or at things that did not make cuts.  I have tried to encourage my children to keep trying, but I have not taught them by example. At 49 years old, I will look for opportunities that I can try even if I risk failing and if I fail, I will try to learn from it.

          Nelson Mandela said, " There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which yourself have altered." There are many instances of this situation. Some examples of going home would be going back to your parents house if you don't live close,  to a class reunion or back to the town you grew up in as I did this summer. This topic makes me wonder what my cousins and Uncle thought of the current me and the ways I have changed. I had a great time in Erie, Pa, and I know that I much different since I lived there. I really enjoyed the visit, and I am anxious to go again. It felt wonderful to spend time with people I love and rarely see, in a city that brought back so many memories. The passage of time has even made me see my old city in a new light as well. It was a beautiful city, and much more than I remember! I hope that as I have grown and changed, others will see me as much more than I was as well.

     When life takes a change in direction, can you find the positive or do you feel defeated? Even if I initially feel defeated, I can usually go with the flow and find some good in even bad detours. I really like to plan and know where my life is headed. Since I was a teenager, I have made lists and set goals. Often when I look back at these lists years later, I still achieved many of my goals but with changes of how I got there or changes in how the result of that goal looked like in the end. As much as I like to map out my life, I like to only vaguely plan road trips and just enjoy the ride. In the future, I think that I will plan my goals that same way...decide on them, but not the road to achieve them and just see where that takes me.

      Ingrid Bergman said, "Happiness is good health and a bad memory". I have always had a bad memory, yet my mother can remember everything that happened to her as well as to all of us. Sometimes it is frustrating when I can't remember happy memories like others, but it is a blessing to forget the horrible times of my life. I have faint remembrances of some things but most things, no matter how hard I try, I just do not remember. It would be nice to pick and choose what we want to remember forever, but I since I can't choose, I think that I will keep my bad memory and good health.

          We are raised in a society that competes for everything, in Sports, in Colleges, in Careers and even in reality TV shows. It begins at a young age trying to win and be the best. Is this notion that it is healthier to compete with yourself only, trying for your own personal best accurate and true? Or is competition among others healthy, does it make us try harder? As a parent that is a hard call. As for myself, I love the notion. I have never been very competitive, so I have always just strived to do my best. I am very self motivated and feel satisfied when I know that I tried my hardest. Is self competition enough to motivate others or do they need more? 

           If I knew that the world would end or go to pieces tomorrow, what would I still do today? I would still go to work and give my babies some kisses and hugs. I would try to get off work early though so that I had ample time to spend with all of those people that I love so dearly. I would make sure that everyone knew that I loved them and that they are all special to me. I would want to spend a few moments in quiet reflection on my life and the choices that I have made. As I read over what I wrote, I realize that this is how every day of my life should be (except I could not get off work every day). Sometimes as I watch TV or surf the web, I feel like I am wasting what valuable time I may have left on this earth. I wish that I could be working towards achieving my goals and making a difference in other people's lives more often. Instead of wishing, I will strive to make that come true.

        Today's topic evokes many emotions. It asks whether life is a race and also who determines what constitutes "winning". I think that as many others have concluded is that life is not a race and that there is no destination. Everything is part of the journey. My kids and I have went on many road trips over the years and the best ones were the ones that included the drive. It made us less anxious and even the driving became fun. What constitutes winning should be an individual assessment. For me, striving to be a caring and considerate person that reaches for my own personal goals is a SUCCESS!

         There are so many things in this world that we live in that are miracles, and that we can be in awe of. Every day when I take care of the infants at my work, I am amazed at how happy they can make me feel, and I am in awe at how they grow and learn. My own daughters are now 17, 19, and 21. I can hardly believe that they too were once little babies then little girls that needed me and loved me so much. I am not afraid nor even upset that I am 49, I am just surprised by the passage of time...another miracle of the world. I celebrated my 49th birthday with family and friends over the course of this weekend, and as I sit here and reflect, I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people that I have in my life. Thank you everyone for making my birthday as well as my life so extraordinary :)

        Since today I am 49, I am going to try and write every day until I turn 50. My children bought me book that I will use to come up with ideas to write my own thoughts on. Today's topic is new possibilities,"...if not the faith in new possibilities...". I read an article as well last night that was about making a list of life goals. Not just get out of debt, buy a new car type of goals, but must do type of life goals. I may add to this list but as of now mine are: Life Goals 1. Write and publish a fiction book 2. Travel and hike   -Grand Canyon   -Yellowstone   -Italy   -Australia 3. Inspire, mentor and/or teach others     (May entail getting my Master's Degree) If my life should end tomorrow, these would be my regrets....