Let's Talk About Words

     Oscar Wild said, "Who, being loved, is poor?" We count how much money we have; we count how many cars we have; we measure how big our house is. We count calories and steps that we take in a day. The list could go on and on, but do we ever count how many people that we love or how many people love us? That is what truly matters in life. Just say I love you. Read my words and see my quotes  at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com or follow my page at            https://www.facebook.com/susanmarie.schulhof.7?ref=hl  

     Joan Baez said, "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one."  Although she was probably speaking about her fans when she referenced the ten thousand people, I agree that it is much more simple to be friends and acquaintances with many than to be in a close or intimate relationship with only one. In some ways, I show my worst self to the one that I love the most. I don't intend to yet I want to be completely honest and open with them so I share the secrets and insecurities that I normally hide from the world. After I share these parts of myself, I need to believe that they will still love me and hope that they stay. It is hard for me not to appear perfect and without problems to others so loving someone requires a level of trust for me. Read my words  and see  my quotes  at Sharing my truths or follow my FB page at Author Susan Marie Schulhof

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love . Don't be surly at home , then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers."                                                                   -Maya Angelou       Your home life can affect your entire world. There have been times in the past when I dreaded coming home; when my home life was not going well. It made me feel physically and emotionally upset when I got close to home. I would find excuses to be out so that I did not have to feel the sadness that I felt there. That is not how a house should feel. A house should feel like coming home. It should feel like love . It is not always perfect yet there are times that I just look around my house at my family and am so incredibly happy . It brings me such ...

      " Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: It is the time for home ."                                                                 -Dame Edith Sitwell         Today is the first day of December . Some parts of the world already have snow , but it is sunny and 41 degrees as I write this in Chicago, but I know that winter is on the way. When the winter weather  arrives, it will bring us together for a couple of reasons. The first reason will be that the  snow  and cold temperatures keep us from leaving the house at times. We stay home and read and watch television, but hopefully we also spend time baking, playing games or watching movies together . Even if you live somewhere without ...

     "A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care to acquire," according to Francois De La Rochefoucauld. It is interesting to watch two older infants become friends. Through the 13 years that I have been an infant teacher, I have seen many children play with and alongside each other, however there have only been a few pairs that I would say were " friends " in an infant classes. A couple of things that I feel made them seem like true friends were that they always wanted to be near each other, they smiled whenever their friend entered the room and they seemed to be happier and have a better day when their friend was at school. As an adult, I am probably the same way with my true friends although I also talk to them and confide in them. I think that I am a good friend and try not to take them for granted, but I am sure that sometimes I do. I want to treasure and show my friends how grateful I am to have them in my li...

       Voltaire said, "We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies; it is the first law of nature." I know that I am not perfect ; nor are my loved ones. I sometimes joke that the people who are together are the ones that can deal with the other persons bad traits the easiest, that we stay with the people whose stuff we can deal with the most. I suppose all joking aside, I believe that we fall in love with someone that can help us learn about aspects of ourselves, even if that may include some  negative aspects as well.  That maybe is why they say that opposites attract and why our own children can drive us the most crazy of all. We all have issues and negative characteristics. There is no one that is perfect just like no one is perfect for one another. Some of the people that I have felt  hurt me the most in my life probably also feel that I hurt them deeply in return, even if I do not believe that ...

                 "Do unto others what you want done unto you."                                                                            -Confucius     Throughout my life, many books that I have read spoke about karma and treating other people how you want to be treated. I was always a little confused about it until recently. My previous belief was that if I was loving and caring enough to a person that I had a difficult relationship with, they would eventually treat me that way in return. Because of this thought, I stayed with others that said that they loved me but treated me poorly, much longer than I should have. I ignored my own feelings and pain in hopes that if I was a "good enough" person, the person treating me bad would chang...

               Love is what we desire from when we are young, but what is love? Love is usually based on need fulfillment and how another person makes you feel. I love him because he makes me feel special. I love her because I feel happy when I am around her. I love him because he is funny. I love her because she is beautiful. I love them because they have always been there for me. Can we love one another free from those feelings and needs? Giving and receiving unconditional love is exactly that. Some needs may still be met based on giving and receiving love with no conditions, but this love is based on truth. It is loving someone for their positive as well as their negative traits. That doesn't mean you like that trait or ignore their negative behavior, but you love them anyway. If couples, families, and friends could love one another unconditionally with an open mind and heart and a willingness to look within themselves, then this relat...

         What did Hermann Hesse mean by the quote, "Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom"? Knowledge is facts, information and skills that a person can acquire from experience, and the definition of wisdom is the quality of having knowledge and experience. At first glance they do not seem that different, but as you break the definitions down you realize that others can teach you knowledge through their words and their actions. Wisdom seems to be your own interpretation of the knowledge that you are exposed to. It is your thoughts, feelings and responses to all that you learn, situations that you are in and circumstances that you encounter. Intelligence is a trait that most people are in awe of, but in many ways that is a talent or a God given gift. One's ability to learn knowledge is determined by drive and ability, yet wisdom is limitless. All people possess an infinite ability to gain wisdom from the life they are living. Read my words and see my...

         What can you learn from difficult situations? Can you learn to be empathetic, sympathetic, caring? Can you learn about yourself that you are strong, you are capable, you are competent? I have encountered many arduous situations in this lifetime. I was in a difficult  marriage; my father fought and died from brain cancer at 55, and I have struggled financially for many years as a single mother of three to name a few. What have I learned from these? I gained much knowledge from how I responded to each and every one of these times. I discovered about myself that I am indeed, strong, loving, capable, empathetic, sympathetic, caring, competent and so much more. Think back on the situations of your life. Remember how you responded. That will show your true essence.

         Reality by definition is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. What is each of our realities? Is it how life actually exists or rather as they appear to us? When we interact with others on a personal or professional level, we must understand that each of us sees our own behavior and the circumstances with our own view or filter of life. This perception comes from the life we have lived, all of our circumstances and experiences. Years ago, there was a movie called He Said, She Said which showed various situations of a couple happening, but from each of their point of view. It was an interesting concept that each has their perception of what was happening. I would like to believe that the events of my life would not make me see a person or situation different than anyone else would; yet life has proved that I do. Think also about before the microscope was invented or be...

          When faced with conflict, many people choose to stay neutral and not get involved. In my life when their has been disagreements among family, friends or at work, I have tried to stay out of it so that others do not get mad at me. I have realized though that not choosing sides does not prevent the issue from affecting my life. In addition, since I do not like conflict and have always abhorred fighting, I will push my own feelings down. That choice usually backfires as well, when my feelings come out with too much emotion at a later date. As I get older, I have come to realize that there are times that I must make a stand or pick a side. I just need to learn how to do that in the moment. Over the next year one of my goals is to make changes in how I live my life. One of those changes is that I choose to express my beliefs with love and consideration. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

                                          I am impressed with other people's talents whether it is in being great at a sport, singing songs, being an award winning actor or various other talents. I have always felt that I am "a jack of all trades but a master of none", meaning that I can do many things but have never been extraordinary at any. Having a gift or talent is something that you were born with or as some call it "god given". I do think that we all have some special gift or talent, but what sets those apart from others is that they realized their special ability and pursued it. That is what they should be proud of; that is what should be applauded. I hope that my daughters discover their gifts and pursue them with their whole heart and soul. At 49, I am still looking for mine.

        How true are Mark Twain's words, "I can live for two months on a good compliment"? When I started out as an early childhood educator in 2001, my Director was very knowledgeable and taught me well. In fact, I often hear her words in my head as I perform my job of taking care of infants. Like I said, she really knew her stuff, but she never complimented me. She felt that as working adults we should not need to hear praise from her. Fast forward a few years, to another Director I worked for. She would leave notes occasionally in the room complimenting something we did, or put a note in my mailbox saying she appreciated how hard I worked. She even now, keeps me in her thoughts when new opportunities for growth in this field come up because she knows and acknowledges how dedicated I am to Bright Horizons. Of course, I was a hard worker with the first Director, but which Director helped me to grow and be all that I can be? Which Director made me ...

         Although we can't change the things that we did in the past, we have the power to change the future. Too many people get stuck on the past, feeling like they are defined by it especially when people are young. As I near the age of 50, I have come to understand that one true fact about life is that everything changes. People change, styles change, friends change and even beliefs, hopes and wishes do. When I was younger, it was hard to imagine the future that I am living now. I have done things in my life and hurt people I love, but I know that I can learn from these things and make better choices and decisions. Hopefully, the people that I love will forgive me and know that we can all be different in the future.

          Sigmund Freud said, "Love and Work are the cornerstones of our humanness." The love doesn't need to be a romantic love, and the work doesn't have to be a career, but they are what gives our life purpose and meaning. I am lucky that my work also gives me both, love and purpose. I have been taking care of infants for more than 12 years now. I would never have thought that it was possible to love, so deeply, children that are not mine, but I do. I know that the love I feel will never run out; it just keeps coming with every new baby. I am not saying that I don't look forward to a day off or the end of my shift, but I love my babies. When I am on vacation, I wonder how they are. When they move to the toddler unit, I miss them every day. It truly is the best kind of work. I would agree that we need someone to love and something to do to be happy, no matter who you love or what you do, and I am grateful for both.

        When I set a goal or when my to do list gets too large, there are always excuses to make. I am too busy; I don't feel well; I am overwhelmed. Thomas Jefferson's quote states that with the right attitude, you can achieve your goals, but nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude. Some days I wonder if I will achieve this goal of writing in my blog every day, but after reading this I know that I will achieve this goal. I will have a positive attitude, and I will deal with any challenges that come my way.

            The dictionary defines good as that which is morally right; righteous. Is that your definition of good? I strive to be an honest person, a kind person, a loving person, but is that a description of a "good" person? We see goodness in ourselves and in others, but is the label of goodness a judgment or a quality? I choose to be the qualities of  honest, loving, kind and fair but who decides what is good? Is a person good if they volunteer and help others, yet in their heart they dislike the ones they are helping? Or talk negatively about others? It is important to show goodness to the world, but have goodness in your heart as well.

        I work at an Early Childhood Center where consistency is very important. The infants thrive on consistent care givers, consistent playmates and a consistent schedule. Is consistency as important for adults? Oscar Wilde claims that "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." It states that change can help us be more flexible and open minded. In some ways, I am very open to change and new things. I love to travel to different places and explore new places to hike, but in other ways I like the tried and true. I order the same food from my favorite restaurants; I wear the same style and color of clothes and spend much of my free time reading, writing, watching movies or walking. I vow to use my imagination every month to think of something new I can try to have a little inconsistency in my life.

        Eric Hoffer said, "To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are." I agree that in order to grow, change and become a more evolved person, we should look at our behaviors closely. Others will look at a person and say that they are stubborn or lazy or any other description, but that person can't see that about themselves. It is difficult to look hard and accept the truth about our own faults, but that is truly the only way to change. I have always been a reactor. I am not confrontational so when others treat me bad or say mean things, I hold it in for too long and then explode. Numerous self help books claim that you can not control what others do; you can only control how you respond. I want that to be true about myself. I no longer want to just "react" to the people and circumstances of my life.  I want to change. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com