Let's Talk About Words

    "Nothing we use or hear or touch can be expressed in words that equal what we are given by the senses ," as stated by Hannah Arendt. She died in 1975 after writing and publishing many books. I find it interesting that an author would say that nothing we use, hear or touch can be described adequately in words. Isn't that the goal as a writer, to make the reader feel and experience a situation as if they were there? I know that as I am writing my first novel, I struggle to find the words to describe what I want to put down on paper, but I assumed that was one of the conditions of being a new writer. I think this is perfect advice for myself though; to look , taste , touch , smell and listen to the world all around me. I am often hurrying here, hurrying there, on my phone, thinking of all that I need to do that I don't often "stop to smell the roses" so to speak. I miss the sound of the bird in the tree, the smell of my morning coffee, the taste of...

" Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere."                                                                         -Chinese Proverb     Even though I intended to go on to Graduate School or Law School after I received my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, I wanted a break. Fast forward 27 years later and I still wish that I had not taken that break since I never went back. I did not love doing homework or taking tests, but I have always appreciated learning . There is something magical in understanding something new that I previously didn't know. I read magazines and books that entertain me as well as educate me. Psychology Today and Self magazines still intrigue me as I read through the different studies quoted. When my daughters received suggested books to read ...

      Thomas Szasz was quoted as saying, "A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but to be wrong ." I am not sure if a child becomes an adult by this realization, but I agree that everyone should learn this truth . We live in a society that expects perfection in school, in our looks, in our work and in our families. The list could continue. We desire this need to always make the right choice from ourselves and from others. I don't want to be wrong , but it is okay if I sometimes am. The world does not end when I am wrong, nor does it when my children and loved ones are. I want to take chances and try to make educated choices, but if I choose wrong, I want to feel that it is alright to choose again. I do not need to punish myself or even be disappointed. Being wrong reminds me of the corn maze at the pumpkin farm. I hate going in them because often the choice you make leads to a dead end or circles back to where you start...

    The quote by Dag Hammarskjold says, "The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside." He was a Swedish diplomat and Secretary-General of the United Nations. This sentence indicates that he valued the importance of  listening  to yourself. I would believe that during his life, he considered advice from others as well as offered some often. I feel that this quote also relates to how people communicate with one another, as well as hearing your own inner guidance. Often when I am at a meeting or in a discussion with someone, it is hard to stop talking, or even to stop thinking, and really listen to what others are saying. My mind comes up with responses and suggestions even as I am hearing them speak. I have read about a process of mirroring what others are saying to ensure that each person is listening when someone is expressing their feelings, ideas or thoughts. The purpos...

      Buddha offered the advice, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." This advice could not be more appropriate for me today. As my two older daughters are away at college and my youngest is finishing her college applications, I have been missing the past and nervous about the future. As I saw all of the children trick or treating at Deer Park Mall yesterday, I was overcome with feelings of nostalgia and thoughts of how quickly those years went by. As an infant teacher at a Bright Horizons Family Solutions, I often advice mothers of infants and young children to enjoy this time, that it flies by. I tell them to not worry about doing everything "right" and just enjoy it. I am sure that they don't believe me just as I would not have either, but I hope that they heed my advice anyway. At the same moment th...

    " Humanity is just a work in progress."                                                    -Tennessee Williams    I read the newspaper; I see the news on TV, and I hear what is happening in the world around me. I am often shocked and disheartened by much of what I hear and see, but I am an optimist by nature. I believe in the best from others; I believe that the world is a great place to live; I believe in mankind . Although I have experienced and witnessed sadness as well as evil, in my own life as well as the lives of others firsthand, I am still full of hope. For every story I read or hear, I notice one of people helping. There are so many organizations and people working to make this a better world to live in, to help others and to make a difference.  We can each improve ourselves individually, but what a...

    Norman Schwartzkopf was quoted as saying, "The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." There are many things in life that keep a person from doing the right thing or living the life they want. Real obstacles and fears can indeed prevent a person from doing the right thing, living the life they want or  pursuing the life of their dreams.  When I decided to write the book Fun4Babies,  I wanted pictures of infants doing the activities from my work, but I could not get that approved. I could have given up. When I received a rejection from a publisher, I could have decided that it was not meant to be. In addition to larger problems, s imple choices and excuses can deter a person as well. I work  full-time, and it look much more of my time to write, edit and finalize it than I thought possible.  It sometimes takes hard work and much thought to pursue a passion.   I know the right thing...

   "What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?" When I googled this quote I found numerous discussions about it as well as various plaques and items to purchase with this quote. I am disappointed in myself to admit that when think about what I would have woke up with today, it would have been nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I have read that a parent or teacher should notice and comment when children are getting along and to refrain from only interceding when they fight, to diminish the attention given to the negative behavior. Expressing gratitude is similar to that for me. I talk and pray to God when negative situations occur, but what about when my life is going smoothly?  I do remember to s ay thank you when something really fabulous happens,   but what about the every day people and situations? Thank you God for the  crisp fall air. Thank you God for a good day at work. Thank you God for a smile from my daug...

"...true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."                                                             -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross    My interpretation of this quote would be once again referring to a person's soul . I believe that we are all powerful souls that take the form of a human body to learn and experience life. While we are living our life here on Earth, we encounter different situations and circumstances. It is quite easy to be happy and positive when we are confronted with pleasant or joyful people and experiences. What about difficult ones like illness, abuse, or even just a mean person? Can we keep our inner light , or our soul , shining brightly or does it waver and dim? My light definitely weakens  since I often struggle to see the positive in negative situations a...

      Guillaume Apollinaire  was a french poet and writer who was born in 1880. He  was quoted as saying, "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy ." What do I need and want in the 21st century to be happy ? Quite often, I think to myself that my life would be much better if I could just win the lottery and have more money. More money to  travel, to have money in the bank, to wear the latest styles and buy the latest technological gadgets and gizmos.   Would all of that  make me happy? Perhaps, or perhaps I would just keep wanting more and more, never quite feeling that elusive feeling of happiness that I am seeking. I can justify that having more money would give me security in the future, but there is no guarantee that I will be here "in the future". Or I could explain that then I can give my children more, but sometimes those given money without working for it, never feel the pride and sense of self t...

      Norman Cousins said, "The individual is capable of both great compassion and great indifference." When I started volunteering at WINGS years ago, I attended a two hour training to understand the women and children staying in the home that I would be volunteering at. As I saw the slide show and listened to the woman speak, I realized that if it had not been for my mother's help, I could have found myself homeless and without a job when I got divorced in 2001. Even though I had a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, I had not worked in 9 years plus my daughters were only 5, 7 and 9 at the time. I had no money saved and received very little child support. I learned that these women were not on drugs or trying to get free food and shelter. They did not have anyone to help them watch their children; they did not have the money to buy a car to be able to drive to a job. It was a vicious cycle of lacking causing more lacking. In a world where we hear story after story ...

       "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."                                                                      -Albert Camus      What does Albert Camus mean by this quote? Flowers are perceived to be beautiful, therefore my simplified interpretation would be that the color changes of the leaves in the fall are as the flowers are in the spring. Spring is thought of as a renewal and rebirth of nature; whereas Autumn is a breaking down and preparation for the dark, cold winter.  To look deeper into the comparisons to life,  t here are different seasons in one's lives as there are changes of seasons in weather, although not near as predictable. There are the wonderful times in life when everything is new and fresh and life is pa...

         My quote , "Get lost in doing what you love to do" couldn't be more fitting for me when I am being creative. There are times when all of the babies are healthy and happy that time flies by in my work playing, teaching and taking care of them, but usually my days at work go by more slowly.   I love to draw and paint, and reading books has always been a time thief, but I enjoy writing more than I ever thought possible.   Writing is when I get lost.  Many of you know that I started a fiction book more than 10 years ago, but that I put that one  aside to begin a new book called Riding Waves last year. So far, I don't lack for ideas but instead there is not enough time in my days to write.  When I had the idea to write every day for a year in this blog, I never imagined the joy that it would bring to me. I am continually looking for pictures that I could take for  my quotes,  taking and editing the pictures and thinking ...

     Babe Ruth was quoted as saying, "You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime." I have been at Chicago Cubs games where one player had hit after hit, yet never scored. He needed the other players to bring him home. My daughters all played on their Homecoming Powder Puff games where each team had over 200 players. Each group took the field for only 4 downs; obviously those wins took a team effort . In addition, d uring their years in the Barrington School district, they have had many assignments where they had to work together in a group to receive a good grade. At times they complained when one person did not do their share, but I thought that it was a great skill for the school to teach. Most careers in their future will entail working with others often, if not all of the time.  I, myself, have been working with my co-teacher, Jenny, for over 12 years in an Infant class...

      "You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers . You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions ," as said by Nagie Manfouz. I enjoy talking to other people; I even love sharing my words , thoughts and ideas, as you can tell by my blogs and books. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college with a Bachelor's Degree, so I have always placed a high value on receiving an Education.    Reading fiction books as well as non-fiction books aid in my fondness for continual learning about myself and others.  I pride myself on being a good listener, yet I have never thought of the value of asking questions nor the importance of the type of questions to ask . Coincidentally, my daughter, Sydney, was working on an assignment Tuesday night for her Honors English Class that entailed writing two-three questions that could be offered on an AP test. As we were discussing how this assignment aids in the development of a persons criti...

   "You are a powerful spirit that has come to earth to learn."                                                              - Gary Zukav in Seat of the Soul             If you believe this quote as I do, then you must spend time alone to hear the yearnings of your soul , to understand all that you are here to learn.  Your inner being or soul speaks to you through feelings and emotions. We sometimes get lost in our heads, trying to think or reason our way out of a problem. I think that is important to do when confronted with a problem or decision, but some time should be spent not thinking, just quieting your mind. I have read that our minds are a person's personality talking whereas your soul speaks to you in those moments you stop the thoughts of your mind. I have tried medita...

     Ralph Waldo Emerson was quoted as saying, "Earth laughs in flowers." My sister, Amy, and I went hiking yesterday at Crabtree Nature Center in Barrington Hills. As we walked, I took picture after picture of all of the beauty that I saw. I have lived in this area for 12 years and never even knew that this place was nearby. I am grateful that others before me had the wisdom to preserve these parts of our planet for us and for future generations to enjoy. People blame others for the destructive of our planet. They accuse construction companies for all of the new buildings and the clearing away of the trees or condemn big businesses for the destruction of our ozone layer with pollution. It is easy to cast blame on others, but what is our role in taking care of our planet Earth? We can be involved in our government if we choose, but we can also use these forest preserves and nature centers that were kept for us. It was a beautiful day, and many schools had the...

     Carl Reiner's quote is, "The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh." He is a comedian, writer, actor and Emmy winner. Humor is interjected into some of the more difficult situations in television shows, movies and books. Those are the ones that I can relate to because even as I cry, I can also laugh. I laugh with, not at, the mistakes of others. I smile as a way of understanding, sharing and connecting because we all have hardships and struggles in our lives. My first fiction book that I am writing  Riding Waves is about a young woman trying to find her way in life, balancing her needs with the challenges of a new relationship. It has dark moments, but even during those times, there is humor. There is laughter to her story just like in life. Often while sharing a story with someone about something bad that happened to me, I instantly feel better and can even begin to see the humor. Sometimes when the day just keeps getting wor...

         There is much talk about the passion or lack of it in a relationship, yet passion is a feeling that we can have in all areas of our lives like my quote says. There was a time many years ago that I lost all passion for life. I was not running, nor painting or even reading books which are all things that I love to do. I did not hate life, yet I was very indifferent. I had little interest in anything. I made myself start to do things that I use to enjoy and was able to connect with the passion inside of me. I am not sure if the feeling of passion towards a person, object or activity is innate or chosen, all I know is that passion needs to be stroked to flame strong. I am watching the runners in the Chicago Marathon today, and it makes me want to go for a run. I read the Chicago Tribune Newspaper, and it makes me want to write stories that others will read. Find something that speaks to you then develop and encourage those feeling. Indiff...

                                       How do you approach life? My quote today asks if you take chances or do you play it safe? If you are like me, some areas of my life I play it safe whereas others times I do take chances. I am pretty safe in my parenting choices, my career path and my financial decisions. Traveling is the one area that I love to take chances in. My daughters and I have went on short trips over their spring breaks, and I think that it even surprises them when I say that we have a destination but we will "fly by the seat of our pants" to arrive there. I love that feeling of freedom.  My dream would be to just get in the car and drive with a vague destination like California or Yellowstone in mind. I would drive until I see something that interests me and stop. I have a deep yearning to see the world, and would want the freedom to explore it all. I almo...

        Today's positive quotation by Paul Klee states, "A single day is enough to make us a little larger or, another time, a little smaller." Sometimes it feels like there is not enough time in a day, in a week, in a month or even in a year to make a difference. I have work, family and other  responsibilities that drain my energy and use up my time, but all it takes is one moment. Whether it is asking the cashier at the store how his or her day is, helping a neighbor with their garbage cans or just telling your loved ones how much they mean to us, we can do one thing that matters . I have seen people talk on their cell phones the whole time a cashier rings them up instead of treating them like a person. It doesn't have to be some big event or grand gesture to do something nice for someone else. Think of one thing that you can do today and then do it. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

      Shakti Gawain was quoted as saying, "When you're following your energy..., the distinction between work and play dissolves." Over the course of my life, I have worked in retail and in a restaurant, had two different jobs in social work, taught in an elementary school and even tried a job in sales. I enjoyed all of them in some capacity, but I was never really happy in my work until I started at Bright Horizons Family Solutions in 2001. I won't lie and say that every day is great or exclaim that I love getting up every day at 5:30am, but I receive so much joy being an infant teacher that those issues fall to the wayside. I believe that I am a much better mother, daughter and overall happier person because I have a career that I am passionate about and love doing. We work 40 plus hours a week out of 168 hours at our job, so it makes sense that we should find a job that brings us pleasure, most of the time. It is truly a great day, when you can play...

        The quote by Will Rogers states, "Even if you are on the right track , you will get run over if you just sit there." Although you might not get run over, you also won't achieve your goals if you don't move. When I started this blog 39 days ago, I wrote down 3 goals that I wanted to achieve.  They were, in short: 1. Write and publish a fiction book 2. Travel and hike 3. Inspire and mentor/teach others I have written 35,000 words of Riding Waves , and Jim and I are thinking about planning a trip to the Grand Canyon next summer. Hopefully, I am inspiring some people that read my words and see my quotes ; plus I am training other infant teachers for Bright Horizons Family Solutions, so I believe that I am at least on the right track . Now what? How do I make sure that I am moving forward? I know that wishing won't make my goals happen so I need to set some smaller goals and put some time constraints so that I can measure my success and make sur...

             William Butler Yeats said that, "We are happy when we are growing ." When my daughters were little, we had a growth chart on the kitchen door. They were constantly asking me, "Did I grow?", and I would stop everything to measure them. If they grew, we would mark off their new height and the date, and they would be so excited. If they did not grow, I would give them suggestions of how they could help themselves grow taller like, "Drink more milk, get more sleep, play outside more." Do we stop growing once we reach adulthood? How can we measure our personal development and growth ? We can't lean against the door to measure it, but hopefully we continue to grow our whole lives. If I had a chart that measured my growth, I would probably see large spikes where I went through the most difficult times of my life like my divorce and my father's death.  When my life is going great, I am less likely to grow and change.  Unfortuna...

             Today's quote by Antoine De Saint-Exupery is "A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral." I see a garden full of weeds, yet my sister-in-law who is a florist sees flowers and plants among the weeds. I see a bag full of groceries, but my sister who loves to cook sees a delicious meal. I see shopping bags full of clothes, but my daughters see great new outfits. Sometimes it is hard for me to see beyond my own reality to understand what brings joy to others. I see a simple quote, and  words and thoughts emerge from it. I enter a bookstore or library, and I see hours of enjoyment reading. I wake to a beautiful day, and I think of a long walk, hike or run. I buy a blank canvas and paints, I envision a picture I can create. I would like to understand what brings joy to others, especially my loved ones. I promise myself today to look for aspects of reality ...

         Niels Bohr said, "Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think". I believe that quote means that you should really think and be aware of what you are saying and expressing to others. We should use care in how and what we are presenting to the world by giving it much thought. There are so many different means of expressing ourselves and reading other peoples thoughts and ideas with all of the social media sites available now. People can blog, vine, tweet and instagram pictures, poems, designs or whatever they can think of, which is different from when I was young. We expressed ourselves on paper with words or pictures, but we only shared it with people that we knew. One way to express ourselves that remains true even now though is through the image that we present to the world. We can style our hair, wear jewelry and dress a certain way to demonstrate to the world who we are. According to Niels Bohr's quote, we s...

     Calvin Coolidge said, "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." Even though we moved to Barrington, when I first got divorced, we had very little money. I struggled to fit in and to help my daughters understand that even though they felt poor in a privileged community, we had a lot more than many others. Through my work, I found a woman's shelter that my daughters and I could volunteer at. Even though they were not even teenagers, they attended a two hour training so that they were prepared to supervise and play with the children living in this shelter as their mothers attende d meetings on site. This was one of the most important  gifts  that I could have given to my children. In addition to realizing how lucky and privileged we really were, we also loved giving of ourselves and our time to help others in need. Now years later, even though I still would like to make the time to volunteer more often,...

     It seems backwards to say, "When ambition ends, happiness begins", in a society where ambition is thought to bring happiness, but that is the quote from a Hungarian Proverb. I don't believe that the proverb means that we would be happier if we had no ambition. I think the meaning is similar to the phrase about enjoying the drive as much as the destination. I feel that sometimes the paths to my goals were just as rewarding as actually reaching them. Even though I was happy when my book was published and selling, I enjoyed the process of writing and editing  it. We had fun in the cities we visited, but I loved the road trips that I took with my daughters to get there just as much. I think that we should pursue our gifts and passions with as much ambition that we have, but we should remember to enjoy the way there too. Read my words and see my quotes at: http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

      Zig Ziglar said, "winning is not everything, but the effort is." How true that is. I remember how great I felt when I was training for a marathon a few years ago. I was in good shape; I felt disciplined getting up in the morning to train, and my daughters were proud of me. I even blogged about my training for the marathon, and I felt a sense of pride every time I ran a little bit farther than the last time. I ran slow and even got injured and had to stop at mile 18 of the marathon, but it still felt like quite an accomplishment. Even though I wish that I had run all 26.2 miles and finished, the effort of training was well worth it. It is something I will never regret trying. I know that if I had not trained and tried, I would have looked back with regret. What do you want to try in life that you would regret not going after? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

         Today's topic in The Daily Book of Positive Quotations is about taking responsibility for your life. Linda Picone explains that many people think that their life would be different if only they were given the opportunity. I agree with Linda that the chances are that those people were given opportunities that they did not take. As I reflect on my life, there were many paths I could have taken, some that I did take and others I did not. It was a big decision for me when I chose to self publish my  book  Fun4Babies . I also made a conscious choice to take on more responsibility at work that ultimately led to the opportunity of mentoring and training other teachers. Opportunities may present themselves, but they do require action. If you spoke to most athletes, writers, singers or CEO's of companies, you will hear of a long list of choices they made to get to where they are. Rarely would you hear a story of success without work on their part....

     The dictionary defines courage as the ability to something that you know is dangerous or difficult. Everyone would agree that a person is courageous if they cliff dive or race cars, but what about opening a business that you are not sure will succeed? What about talking to your loved one about your insecurities? What about trying out for a sport? It is sometimes easier for me to go on a roller coaster or wish that I could skydive rather than face my fears of failure if I try something new, or face my fear of rejection if I tell my loved ones what I need from them. In the book Divergent, there is a faction called dauntless that go into simulations to learn to face their fears. The idea behind it is that repeated exposure will not remove the fear, but it will help them to not let their fears control them. Others will not be able to manipulate them due to these fears nor use them against them. I choose to be courageous.   By facing my fears, I can reduce the p...