Let's Talk About Words

    Aeschylus said, "It is always in season for old men to learn."          Not only is there a season for old men to learn, but I want to continue to learn about the world, myself and others. I wrote a few weeks back that learning should not end when school is over, but how can I learn if I don't want to go to more school? There are lessons and learning all around me. One of my favorite things to do on Sunday morning is to read the newspaper as I drink my morning coffee. I read articles about people, places, entertainment and just life in general. I am surprised when I hear that someone doesn't like to read the newspaper. I can understand, I guess, as long as they are watching the news or reading about life through magazines or on the internet. I also love to learn from listening to others in person and through books, as well as through music. There is so much to learn from the world around us if we open our eyes, ears and hearts. Read my w...

                                          I am impressed with other people's talents whether it is in being great at a sport, singing songs, being an award winning actor or various other talents. I have always felt that I am "a jack of all trades but a master of none", meaning that I can do many things but have never been extraordinary at any. Having a gift or talent is something that you were born with or as some call it "god given". I do think that we all have some special gift or talent, but what sets those apart from others is that they realized their special ability and pursued it. That is what they should be proud of; that is what should be applauded. I hope that my daughters discover their gifts and pursue them with their whole heart and soul. At 49, I am still looking for mine.

        How true are Mark Twain's words, "I can live for two months on a good compliment"? When I started out as an early childhood educator in 2001, my Director was very knowledgeable and taught me well. In fact, I often hear her words in my head as I perform my job of taking care of infants. Like I said, she really knew her stuff, but she never complimented me. She felt that as working adults we should not need to hear praise from her. Fast forward a few years, to another Director I worked for. She would leave notes occasionally in the room complimenting something we did, or put a note in my mailbox saying she appreciated how hard I worked. She even now, keeps me in her thoughts when new opportunities for growth in this field come up because she knows and acknowledges how dedicated I am to Bright Horizons. Of course, I was a hard worker with the first Director, but which Director helped me to grow and be all that I can be? Which Director made me ...

          I have always been disappointed in myself for mistakes that I have made, although I have also tried to learn from them. I am a very introspective person and constantly devour articles and books that I believe will help in the evolution of my soul, but I am still saddened by some of the choices that I have made and mistakes of the past. If I could just remember what I learned instead of dwelling on the error of my ways, maybe I truly could master it and move on. To tie in a previous post, this can be something new that I will do this month. I forgive my mistakes, since they lead me to today.

        When I set a goal or when my to do list gets too large, there are always excuses to make. I am too busy; I don't feel well; I am overwhelmed. Thomas Jefferson's quote states that with the right attitude, you can achieve your goals, but nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude. Some days I wonder if I will achieve this goal of writing in my blog every day, but after reading this I know that I will achieve this goal. I will have a positive attitude, and I will deal with any challenges that come my way.

            The dictionary defines good as that which is morally right; righteous. Is that your definition of good? I strive to be an honest person, a kind person, a loving person, but is that a description of a "good" person? We see goodness in ourselves and in others, but is the label of goodness a judgment or a quality? I choose to be the qualities of  honest, loving, kind and fair but who decides what is good? Is a person good if they volunteer and help others, yet in their heart they dislike the ones they are helping? Or talk negatively about others? It is important to show goodness to the world, but have goodness in your heart as well.

        I work at an Early Childhood Center where consistency is very important. The infants thrive on consistent care givers, consistent playmates and a consistent schedule. Is consistency as important for adults? Oscar Wilde claims that "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." It states that change can help us be more flexible and open minded. In some ways, I am very open to change and new things. I love to travel to different places and explore new places to hike, but in other ways I like the tried and true. I order the same food from my favorite restaurants; I wear the same style and color of clothes and spend much of my free time reading, writing, watching movies or walking. I vow to use my imagination every month to think of something new I can try to have a little inconsistency in my life.

        Eric Hoffer said, "To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are." I agree that in order to grow, change and become a more evolved person, we should look at our behaviors closely. Others will look at a person and say that they are stubborn or lazy or any other description, but that person can't see that about themselves. It is difficult to look hard and accept the truth about our own faults, but that is truly the only way to change. I have always been a reactor. I am not confrontational so when others treat me bad or say mean things, I hold it in for too long and then explode. Numerous self help books claim that you can not control what others do; you can only control how you respond. I want that to be true about myself. I no longer want to just "react" to the people and circumstances of my life.  I want to change. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

          Making decisions in life, especially when it comes to your children, are difficult to make. I am always fearful of making the wrong decision, so sometimes I just avoid the issue. I will pray on it, talk to other's about it and do tarot card readings all in an attempt to be told what to do. Fear holds me back in many aspects of my life; even affecting decision making. Not choosing or feeling like you are not making a decision making is probably the worst action I could take. I promise myself today to be strong and face my fear of failure and making mistakes. Not choosing has lead me to many mistakes in my life already, so why not try choosing now?

      We all belong to groups in this world; groups like families, friends, race, class and religion to name a few, but we all belong to one larger group as referred to as humankind. I read once that in order to be loving person, we must be loving to those we dislike, or those we feel don't deserve our love. It is easy to be a loving person towards those that we care about and treat us well, but how about others? I would like to believe that I am a "loving" person, but I do struggle with this perspective. Can I be loving to all of humanity? Can I be loving to those who have hurt me the most? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

      The fact is that we all fail in life but should we keep trying or give up? I must admit that I don't fail that often, but that is because I don't try new things that often either. After not making the cheerleading squad in 7th grade when my friends made it, I only joined and tried things that I was sure I could succeed at or at things that did not make cuts.  I have tried to encourage my children to keep trying, but I have not taught them by example. At 49 years old, I will look for opportunities that I can try even if I risk failing and if I fail, I will try to learn from it.

          Nelson Mandela said, " There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which yourself have altered." There are many instances of this situation. Some examples of going home would be going back to your parents house if you don't live close,  to a class reunion or back to the town you grew up in as I did this summer. This topic makes me wonder what my cousins and Uncle thought of the current me and the ways I have changed. I had a great time in Erie, Pa, and I know that I much different since I lived there. I really enjoyed the visit, and I am anxious to go again. It felt wonderful to spend time with people I love and rarely see, in a city that brought back so many memories. The passage of time has even made me see my old city in a new light as well. It was a beautiful city, and much more than I remember! I hope that as I have grown and changed, others will see me as much more than I was as well.

     When life takes a change in direction, can you find the positive or do you feel defeated? Even if I initially feel defeated, I can usually go with the flow and find some good in even bad detours. I really like to plan and know where my life is headed. Since I was a teenager, I have made lists and set goals. Often when I look back at these lists years later, I still achieved many of my goals but with changes of how I got there or changes in how the result of that goal looked like in the end. As much as I like to map out my life, I like to only vaguely plan road trips and just enjoy the ride. In the future, I think that I will plan my goals that same way...decide on them, but not the road to achieve them and just see where that takes me.

      Ingrid Bergman said, "Happiness is good health and a bad memory". I have always had a bad memory, yet my mother can remember everything that happened to her as well as to all of us. Sometimes it is frustrating when I can't remember happy memories like others, but it is a blessing to forget the horrible times of my life. I have faint remembrances of some things but most things, no matter how hard I try, I just do not remember. It would be nice to pick and choose what we want to remember forever, but I since I can't choose, I think that I will keep my bad memory and good health.

          We are raised in a society that competes for everything, in Sports, in Colleges, in Careers and even in reality TV shows. It begins at a young age trying to win and be the best. Is this notion that it is healthier to compete with yourself only, trying for your own personal best accurate and true? Or is competition among others healthy, does it make us try harder? As a parent that is a hard call. As for myself, I love the notion. I have never been very competitive, so I have always just strived to do my best. I am very self motivated and feel satisfied when I know that I tried my hardest. Is self competition enough to motivate others or do they need more? 

           If I knew that the world would end or go to pieces tomorrow, what would I still do today? I would still go to work and give my babies some kisses and hugs. I would try to get off work early though so that I had ample time to spend with all of those people that I love so dearly. I would make sure that everyone knew that I loved them and that they are all special to me. I would want to spend a few moments in quiet reflection on my life and the choices that I have made. As I read over what I wrote, I realize that this is how every day of my life should be (except I could not get off work every day). Sometimes as I watch TV or surf the web, I feel like I am wasting what valuable time I may have left on this earth. I wish that I could be working towards achieving my goals and making a difference in other people's lives more often. Instead of wishing, I will strive to make that come true.

        Today's topic evokes many emotions. It asks whether life is a race and also who determines what constitutes "winning". I think that as many others have concluded is that life is not a race and that there is no destination. Everything is part of the journey. My kids and I have went on many road trips over the years and the best ones were the ones that included the drive. It made us less anxious and even the driving became fun. What constitutes winning should be an individual assessment. For me, striving to be a caring and considerate person that reaches for my own personal goals is a SUCCESS!