Let's Talk About Words

    " Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life."                                                                       -George Arliss      My parents raised me to be a very competent person. I learned how to cook, clean, pay bills, shovel snow, mow the lawn, check my oil, do laundry, hook up electronics, paint a room and more. My mother and father expected a lot from me, but they also taught me by their example. My father was very hard working, and my mother still is. Because I have always been able to do much of what I set my mind to do, I rarely had to ask for help. That can have a negative effect though because it often enabled others to do less or made them believe that I didn't think that they could do it we...

    "The real idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much further."                                                      -Sir Heneage Ogilivie        I am a very competent and capable person, but I do find that when I try to do a lot or try to hurry, I make mistakes and end up feeling like I am under an enormous amount of stress . Feeling high levels of stress in one's life has been linked to increased illness, weight gain and even heart disease and high blood pressure. When I look at my To Do list, todays quotation makes me want to eliminate anything on it that it not important. I need to concentrate only on what is necessary. There are times that it is necessary for me to be busy and get things done, but I also need time to relax and de-stress. I believe th...

     Franz Kafka was a German novelist that died in 1924 and was quoted as saying, "I do not read advertisements. I would spend all of my time wanting things." I obviously was not alive in 1924, but if I had to surmise, I would say that there were less objects to buy back then than there is today. There are more clothes, more gadgets and even more stores now . I have often told my daughters and friends that I do not want to even go to the mall so that I am not tempted to spend money  that I do not have. Window shopping holds no interest for me. I do however love to look through magazines and take pictures or "pin" objects I would want to buy or receive as gifts. That too though just makes me want what I don't have. I have heard that the more money you have, the more you will spend. I suppose that it makes sense that if you earn more, you perhaps would feel more entitled to buy the clothes, shoes, home goods that you covet. Perhaps it is true that the...

         Niels Bohr said, "Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think". I believe that quote means that you should really think and be aware of what you are saying and expressing to others. We should use care in how and what we are presenting to the world by giving it much thought. There are so many different means of expressing ourselves and reading other peoples thoughts and ideas with all of the social media sites available now. People can blog, vine, tweet and instagram pictures, poems, designs or whatever they can think of, which is different from when I was young. We expressed ourselves on paper with words or pictures, but we only shared it with people that we knew. One way to express ourselves that remains true even now though is through the image that we present to the world. We can style our hair, wear jewelry and dress a certain way to demonstrate to the world who we are. According to Niels Bohr's quote, we s...

     Calvin Coolidge said, "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." Even though we moved to Barrington, when I first got divorced, we had very little money. I struggled to fit in and to help my daughters understand that even though they felt poor in a privileged community, we had a lot more than many others. Through my work, I found a woman's shelter that my daughters and I could volunteer at. Even though they were not even teenagers, they attended a two hour training so that they were prepared to supervise and play with the children living in this shelter as their mothers attende d meetings on site. This was one of the most important  gifts  that I could have given to my children. In addition to realizing how lucky and privileged we really were, we also loved giving of ourselves and our time to help others in need. Now years later, even though I still would like to make the time to volunteer more often,...

     It seems backwards to say, "When ambition ends, happiness begins", in a society where ambition is thought to bring happiness, but that is the quote from a Hungarian Proverb. I don't believe that the proverb means that we would be happier if we had no ambition. I think the meaning is similar to the phrase about enjoying the drive as much as the destination. I feel that sometimes the paths to my goals were just as rewarding as actually reaching them. Even though I was happy when my book was published and selling, I enjoyed the process of writing and editing  it. We had fun in the cities we visited, but I loved the road trips that I took with my daughters to get there just as much. I think that we should pursue our gifts and passions with as much ambition that we have, but we should remember to enjoy the way there too. Read my words and see my quotes at: http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

     The dictionary defines courage as the ability to something that you know is dangerous or difficult. Everyone would agree that a person is courageous if they cliff dive or race cars, but what about opening a business that you are not sure will succeed? What about talking to your loved one about your insecurities? What about trying out for a sport? It is sometimes easier for me to go on a roller coaster or wish that I could skydive rather than face my fears of failure if I try something new, or face my fear of rejection if I tell my loved ones what I need from them. In the book Divergent, there is a faction called dauntless that go into simulations to learn to face their fears. The idea behind it is that repeated exposure will not remove the fear, but it will help them to not let their fears control them. Others will not be able to manipulate them due to these fears nor use them against them. I choose to be courageous.   By facing my fears, I can reduce the p...

            What did James Lowell mean when he said, "A weed is no more than a flower in disguise"? A weed is a weed because we call it that. To a little child, a sow thistle is a pretty flower. Even to adults, a field of dandelions can look as beautiful as a garden of flowers. All that one needs is a change of perspective to change a weed into a flower. Have you ever been frustrated by a car driving too slow, until you realized that is a new student driver or even an older person? You now longer feel angry; you maybe feel compassionate and understanding. The person is still driving too slow, but what changes is your perspective. How many things in life could we look at or classify differently if we only changed our attitude? If we could look at a problem or situation from another point of view? Can we change the weeds of our life into flowers? Read my words and see my quote at  http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

               Love is what we desire from when we are young, but what is love? Love is usually based on need fulfillment and how another person makes you feel. I love him because he makes me feel special. I love her because I feel happy when I am around her. I love him because he is funny. I love her because she is beautiful. I love them because they have always been there for me. Can we love one another free from those feelings and needs? Giving and receiving unconditional love is exactly that. Some needs may still be met based on giving and receiving love with no conditions, but this love is based on truth. It is loving someone for their positive as well as their negative traits. That doesn't mean you like that trait or ignore their negative behavior, but you love them anyway. If couples, families, and friends could love one another unconditionally with an open mind and heart and a willingness to look within themselves, then this relat...

           "When a friend is in trouble...Think of something appropriate and do it." said E.W. Howe. He was a novelist that passed away in 1937 yet that advice stands the test of time. Instead of asking others how you can help, spend some time in thought and decide what you can do to help whatever the circumstance is. This can be applied to helping people that you don't know as well. I have always wanted to help others yet I never felt that I had enough money to make a difference. After some soul searching, I realized that I could help others with my time. I volunteered at a women's shelter helping clean and organize their recreational space, in addition to watching the children so that the mothers could attend meetings. That was an appropriate way for me to help others in need. What is your way? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

           Today's post in The Book of Positive Quotations quotes Charles De Gaulle as saying," Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own". After reading this, my first thought is that it is wrong, that people need others in times of crisis. How is it that to be a "person of character" one must handle it alone? After much contemplation, I have come to realize that although you can rely on family and friends to help you through a crisis, only you can truly understand what you feel and what would be the best response. A person's reaction could be talking it over with friends, accepting help from family members, but those responses still fall back on oneself. One must, on their own, accept the help if they choose after thought and consideration. My choice would be to read book after book about our soul and our purpose for living as a means of facing...

         What did Hermann Hesse mean by the quote, "Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom"? Knowledge is facts, information and skills that a person can acquire from experience, and the definition of wisdom is the quality of having knowledge and experience. At first glance they do not seem that different, but as you break the definitions down you realize that others can teach you knowledge through their words and their actions. Wisdom seems to be your own interpretation of the knowledge that you are exposed to. It is your thoughts, feelings and responses to all that you learn, situations that you are in and circumstances that you encounter. Intelligence is a trait that most people are in awe of, but in many ways that is a talent or a God given gift. One's ability to learn knowledge is determined by drive and ability, yet wisdom is limitless. All people possess an infinite ability to gain wisdom from the life they are living. Read my words and see my...

         What can you learn from difficult situations? Can you learn to be empathetic, sympathetic, caring? Can you learn about yourself that you are strong, you are capable, you are competent? I have encountered many arduous situations in this lifetime. I was in a difficult  marriage; my father fought and died from brain cancer at 55, and I have struggled financially for many years as a single mother of three to name a few. What have I learned from these? I gained much knowledge from how I responded to each and every one of these times. I discovered about myself that I am indeed, strong, loving, capable, empathetic, sympathetic, caring, competent and so much more. Think back on the situations of your life. Remember how you responded. That will show your true essence.

         Reality by definition is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. What is each of our realities? Is it how life actually exists or rather as they appear to us? When we interact with others on a personal or professional level, we must understand that each of us sees our own behavior and the circumstances with our own view or filter of life. This perception comes from the life we have lived, all of our circumstances and experiences. Years ago, there was a movie called He Said, She Said which showed various situations of a couple happening, but from each of their point of view. It was an interesting concept that each has their perception of what was happening. I would like to believe that the events of my life would not make me see a person or situation different than anyone else would; yet life has proved that I do. Think also about before the microscope was invented or be...

          When faced with conflict, many people choose to stay neutral and not get involved. In my life when their has been disagreements among family, friends or at work, I have tried to stay out of it so that others do not get mad at me. I have realized though that not choosing sides does not prevent the issue from affecting my life. In addition, since I do not like conflict and have always abhorred fighting, I will push my own feelings down. That choice usually backfires as well, when my feelings come out with too much emotion at a later date. As I get older, I have come to realize that there are times that I must make a stand or pick a side. I just need to learn how to do that in the moment. Over the next year one of my goals is to make changes in how I live my life. One of those changes is that I choose to express my beliefs with love and consideration. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

       What can we learn about the changing seasons? With the first day of Autumn tomorrow, I look forward to the changing seasons, but I await this weather the most. There are many changes in the weather throughout the year living in Chicago. I get too hot in the summer and look forward to the cooler weather; then in the middle of winter, I pine for a warm summer breeze. The difference in each one makes me appreciate the other as does all of life. I can appreciate love more when I encounter hate. I value peace more when I encounter turmoil. I long for wealth when I experience lack of money. At times when I am experiencing the negative aspect, I forget that everything changes, and I lose touch with what "lacking" gives me. Then life, like the seasons, change, and I remember once more that the rough times enable me to appreciate the good times even more. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

        How true are Mark Twain's words, "I can live for two months on a good compliment"? When I started out as an early childhood educator in 2001, my Director was very knowledgeable and taught me well. In fact, I often hear her words in my head as I perform my job of taking care of infants. Like I said, she really knew her stuff, but she never complimented me. She felt that as working adults we should not need to hear praise from her. Fast forward a few years, to another Director I worked for. She would leave notes occasionally in the room complimenting something we did, or put a note in my mailbox saying she appreciated how hard I worked. She even now, keeps me in her thoughts when new opportunities for growth in this field come up because she knows and acknowledges how dedicated I am to Bright Horizons. Of course, I was a hard worker with the first Director, but which Director helped me to grow and be all that I can be? Which Director made me ...

          I have always been disappointed in myself for mistakes that I have made, although I have also tried to learn from them. I am a very introspective person and constantly devour articles and books that I believe will help in the evolution of my soul, but I am still saddened by some of the choices that I have made and mistakes of the past. If I could just remember what I learned instead of dwelling on the error of my ways, maybe I truly could master it and move on. To tie in a previous post, this can be something new that I will do this month. I forgive my mistakes, since they lead me to today.

         Although we can't change the things that we did in the past, we have the power to change the future. Too many people get stuck on the past, feeling like they are defined by it especially when people are young. As I near the age of 50, I have come to understand that one true fact about life is that everything changes. People change, styles change, friends change and even beliefs, hopes and wishes do. When I was younger, it was hard to imagine the future that I am living now. I have done things in my life and hurt people I love, but I know that I can learn from these things and make better choices and decisions. Hopefully, the people that I love will forgive me and know that we can all be different in the future.

          Sigmund Freud said, "Love and Work are the cornerstones of our humanness." The love doesn't need to be a romantic love, and the work doesn't have to be a career, but they are what gives our life purpose and meaning. I am lucky that my work also gives me both, love and purpose. I have been taking care of infants for more than 12 years now. I would never have thought that it was possible to love, so deeply, children that are not mine, but I do. I know that the love I feel will never run out; it just keeps coming with every new baby. I am not saying that I don't look forward to a day off or the end of my shift, but I love my babies. When I am on vacation, I wonder how they are. When they move to the toddler unit, I miss them every day. It truly is the best kind of work. I would agree that we need someone to love and something to do to be happy, no matter who you love or what you do, and I am grateful for both.