Let's Talk About Words

          I have always been disappointed in myself for mistakes that I have made, although I have also tried to learn from them. I am a very introspective person and constantly devour articles and books that I believe will help in the evolution of my soul, but I am still saddened by some of the choices that I have made and mistakes of the past. If I could just remember what I learned instead of dwelling on the error of my ways, maybe I truly could master it and move on. To tie in a previous post, this can be something new that I will do this month. I forgive my mistakes, since they lead me to today.

         Although we can't change the things that we did in the past, we have the power to change the future. Too many people get stuck on the past, feeling like they are defined by it especially when people are young. As I near the age of 50, I have come to understand that one true fact about life is that everything changes. People change, styles change, friends change and even beliefs, hopes and wishes do. When I was younger, it was hard to imagine the future that I am living now. I have done things in my life and hurt people I love, but I know that I can learn from these things and make better choices and decisions. Hopefully, the people that I love will forgive me and know that we can all be different in the future.

        When I set a goal or when my to do list gets too large, there are always excuses to make. I am too busy; I don't feel well; I am overwhelmed. Thomas Jefferson's quote states that with the right attitude, you can achieve your goals, but nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude. Some days I wonder if I will achieve this goal of writing in my blog every day, but after reading this I know that I will achieve this goal. I will have a positive attitude, and I will deal with any challenges that come my way.

        I work at an Early Childhood Center where consistency is very important. The infants thrive on consistent care givers, consistent playmates and a consistent schedule. Is consistency as important for adults? Oscar Wilde claims that "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." It states that change can help us be more flexible and open minded. In some ways, I am very open to change and new things. I love to travel to different places and explore new places to hike, but in other ways I like the tried and true. I order the same food from my favorite restaurants; I wear the same style and color of clothes and spend much of my free time reading, writing, watching movies or walking. I vow to use my imagination every month to think of something new I can try to have a little inconsistency in my life.

        Eric Hoffer said, "To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are." I agree that in order to grow, change and become a more evolved person, we should look at our behaviors closely. Others will look at a person and say that they are stubborn or lazy or any other description, but that person can't see that about themselves. It is difficult to look hard and accept the truth about our own faults, but that is truly the only way to change. I have always been a reactor. I am not confrontational so when others treat me bad or say mean things, I hold it in for too long and then explode. Numerous self help books claim that you can not control what others do; you can only control how you respond. I want that to be true about myself. I no longer want to just "react" to the people and circumstances of my life.  I want to change. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

          Making decisions in life, especially when it comes to your children, are difficult to make. I am always fearful of making the wrong decision, so sometimes I just avoid the issue. I will pray on it, talk to other's about it and do tarot card readings all in an attempt to be told what to do. Fear holds me back in many aspects of my life; even affecting decision making. Not choosing or feeling like you are not making a decision making is probably the worst action I could take. I promise myself today to be strong and face my fear of failure and making mistakes. Not choosing has lead me to many mistakes in my life already, so why not try choosing now?