Let's Talk About Words

"The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action." -John Dewey   As I have written before, I have always wanted to be a mother . To me, raising my daughters is the most important job that I will ever have. As they grow up though, I am discovering that being a mother changes. They no longer need me to take care of them and meet their needs, yet hopefully they will continue to want me in their lives. I hope that I can be an adviser, a companion and a confidant to all three of them. No matter what my role will be in my daughter's lives, my family defines me. Read my words and see my quotes  at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com or follow my page at                                              https://www.facebook.com/susanmarie.schulhof.7?ref=hl  

    Anouk Aimee said, "You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older ." Although I agree with the quote by Anouk Aimee, there is so much that cannot really be understood and appreciated until a person actually gets  older as well. The value of playing  is one situation that I recently have come to appreciate. There are a few reasons that the action of playing has been on my mind. First off, two of my daughters are away at college with my youngest completing her college applications for next year, so they are not at home much. I also have been looking through old photographs for in this blog, and it makes me nostalgic for when my daughters were little. In addition, we spent six hours on Thanksgiving watching old home movies, and often I was busy running around instead of on the floor playing. As I think back on my daughter's childhood, I never wish that I had cleaned more, corrected their behavior more or spent more time away from them,...

     Injustice by definition is an act that inflicts undeserved harm . I have been a single working mother since 2001. Throughout these 12 years, I have struggled to work hard yet be there for my daughters . What I learned years ago was that I can never be the best at both. I have had to understand that doing as much as I can as a mother as well as doing as much as I can at work would have to be enough. I also realized that if I did not find time for myself in between these work and parenting commitments, that I could not even be enough at work or with my children. Often when I neglected my needs I would end up ill or sad and sometimes both. I had to learn to balance all of the areas of my life so that I did not inflict undeserved harm to others nor to myself. An unbalanced life does  truly lead to injustice. Read my words and see my quotes http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

    "In wisdom gathered over time, I have found that every experience is a form of exploration."                                                                -Ansel Adams     Ansel Adams was a photographer and environmentalist known for his black and white photographs of nature. I can agree with his quote about experiences being a form of exploration . While exploration is defined as the action of traveling in or through an unfamiliar area in order to learn about it; experience is the process of having things happen to you. It makes sense that all of life is an exploration , but sometimes we continue to only explore known situations. The picture above, with the quote, was taken many years ago at Starved Rock State Park in Illinois. I remember the first time that I went there with my children, we all...

       "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."                                                                      -Albert Camus      What does Albert Camus mean by this quote? Flowers are perceived to be beautiful, therefore my simplified interpretation would be that the color changes of the leaves in the fall are as the flowers are in the spring. Spring is thought of as a renewal and rebirth of nature; whereas Autumn is a breaking down and preparation for the dark, cold winter.  To look deeper into the comparisons to life,  t here are different seasons in one's lives as there are changes of seasons in weather, although not near as predictable. There are the wonderful times in life when everything is new and fresh and life is pa...

     Ralph Waldo Emerson was quoted as saying, "Earth laughs in flowers." My sister, Amy, and I went hiking yesterday at Crabtree Nature Center in Barrington Hills. As we walked, I took picture after picture of all of the beauty that I saw. I have lived in this area for 12 years and never even knew that this place was nearby. I am grateful that others before me had the wisdom to preserve these parts of our planet for us and for future generations to enjoy. People blame others for the destructive of our planet. They accuse construction companies for all of the new buildings and the clearing away of the trees or condemn big businesses for the destruction of our ozone layer with pollution. It is easy to cast blame on others, but what is our role in taking care of our planet Earth? We can be involved in our government if we choose, but we can also use these forest preserves and nature centers that were kept for us. It was a beautiful day, and many schools had the...

     Carl Reiner's quote is, "The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh." He is a comedian, writer, actor and Emmy winner. Humor is interjected into some of the more difficult situations in television shows, movies and books. Those are the ones that I can relate to because even as I cry, I can also laugh. I laugh with, not at, the mistakes of others. I smile as a way of understanding, sharing and connecting because we all have hardships and struggles in our lives. My first fiction book that I am writing  Riding Waves is about a young woman trying to find her way in life, balancing her needs with the challenges of a new relationship. It has dark moments, but even during those times, there is humor. There is laughter to her story just like in life. Often while sharing a story with someone about something bad that happened to me, I instantly feel better and can even begin to see the humor. Sometimes when the day just keeps getting wor...

                                       How do you approach life? My quote today asks if you take chances or do you play it safe? If you are like me, some areas of my life I play it safe whereas others times I do take chances. I am pretty safe in my parenting choices, my career path and my financial decisions. Traveling is the one area that I love to take chances in. My daughters and I have went on short trips over their spring breaks, and I think that it even surprises them when I say that we have a destination but we will "fly by the seat of our pants" to arrive there. I love that feeling of freedom.  My dream would be to just get in the car and drive with a vague destination like California or Yellowstone in mind. I would drive until I see something that interests me and stop. I have a deep yearning to see the world, and would want the freedom to explore it all. I almo...

        Today's positive quotation by Paul Klee states, "A single day is enough to make us a little larger or, another time, a little smaller." Sometimes it feels like there is not enough time in a day, in a week, in a month or even in a year to make a difference. I have work, family and other  responsibilities that drain my energy and use up my time, but all it takes is one moment. Whether it is asking the cashier at the store how his or her day is, helping a neighbor with their garbage cans or just telling your loved ones how much they mean to us, we can do one thing that matters . I have seen people talk on their cell phones the whole time a cashier rings them up instead of treating them like a person. It doesn't have to be some big event or grand gesture to do something nice for someone else. Think of one thing that you can do today and then do it. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

             William Butler Yeats said that, "We are happy when we are growing ." When my daughters were little, we had a growth chart on the kitchen door. They were constantly asking me, "Did I grow?", and I would stop everything to measure them. If they grew, we would mark off their new height and the date, and they would be so excited. If they did not grow, I would give them suggestions of how they could help themselves grow taller like, "Drink more milk, get more sleep, play outside more." Do we stop growing once we reach adulthood? How can we measure our personal development and growth ? We can't lean against the door to measure it, but hopefully we continue to grow our whole lives. If I had a chart that measured my growth, I would probably see large spikes where I went through the most difficult times of my life like my divorce and my father's death.  When my life is going great, I am less likely to grow and change.  Unfortuna...

     It seems backwards to say, "When ambition ends, happiness begins", in a society where ambition is thought to bring happiness, but that is the quote from a Hungarian Proverb. I don't believe that the proverb means that we would be happier if we had no ambition. I think the meaning is similar to the phrase about enjoying the drive as much as the destination. I feel that sometimes the paths to my goals were just as rewarding as actually reaching them. Even though I was happy when my book was published and selling, I enjoyed the process of writing and editing  it. We had fun in the cities we visited, but I loved the road trips that I took with my daughters to get there just as much. I think that we should pursue our gifts and passions with as much ambition that we have, but we should remember to enjoy the way there too. Read my words and see my quotes at: http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

      Zig Ziglar said, "winning is not everything, but the effort is." How true that is. I remember how great I felt when I was training for a marathon a few years ago. I was in good shape; I felt disciplined getting up in the morning to train, and my daughters were proud of me. I even blogged about my training for the marathon, and I felt a sense of pride every time I ran a little bit farther than the last time. I ran slow and even got injured and had to stop at mile 18 of the marathon, but it still felt like quite an accomplishment. Even though I wish that I had run all 26.2 miles and finished, the effort of training was well worth it. It is something I will never regret trying. I know that if I had not trained and tried, I would have looked back with regret. What do you want to try in life that you would regret not going after? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

         Today's topic in The Daily Book of Positive Quotations is about taking responsibility for your life. Linda Picone explains that many people think that their life would be different if only they were given the opportunity. I agree with Linda that the chances are that those people were given opportunities that they did not take. As I reflect on my life, there were many paths I could have taken, some that I did take and others I did not. It was a big decision for me when I chose to self publish my  book  Fun4Babies . I also made a conscious choice to take on more responsibility at work that ultimately led to the opportunity of mentoring and training other teachers. Opportunities may present themselves, but they do require action. If you spoke to most athletes, writers, singers or CEO's of companies, you will hear of a long list of choices they made to get to where they are. Rarely would you hear a story of success without work on their part....

     The dictionary defines courage as the ability to something that you know is dangerous or difficult. Everyone would agree that a person is courageous if they cliff dive or race cars, but what about opening a business that you are not sure will succeed? What about talking to your loved one about your insecurities? What about trying out for a sport? It is sometimes easier for me to go on a roller coaster or wish that I could skydive rather than face my fears of failure if I try something new, or face my fear of rejection if I tell my loved ones what I need from them. In the book Divergent, there is a faction called dauntless that go into simulations to learn to face their fears. The idea behind it is that repeated exposure will not remove the fear, but it will help them to not let their fears control them. Others will not be able to manipulate them due to these fears nor use them against them. I choose to be courageous.   By facing my fears, I can reduce the p...

            What did James Lowell mean when he said, "A weed is no more than a flower in disguise"? A weed is a weed because we call it that. To a little child, a sow thistle is a pretty flower. Even to adults, a field of dandelions can look as beautiful as a garden of flowers. All that one needs is a change of perspective to change a weed into a flower. Have you ever been frustrated by a car driving too slow, until you realized that is a new student driver or even an older person? You now longer feel angry; you maybe feel compassionate and understanding. The person is still driving too slow, but what changes is your perspective. How many things in life could we look at or classify differently if we only changed our attitude? If we could look at a problem or situation from another point of view? Can we change the weeds of our life into flowers? Read my words and see my quote at  http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

               Love is what we desire from when we are young, but what is love? Love is usually based on need fulfillment and how another person makes you feel. I love him because he makes me feel special. I love her because I feel happy when I am around her. I love him because he is funny. I love her because she is beautiful. I love them because they have always been there for me. Can we love one another free from those feelings and needs? Giving and receiving unconditional love is exactly that. Some needs may still be met based on giving and receiving love with no conditions, but this love is based on truth. It is loving someone for their positive as well as their negative traits. That doesn't mean you like that trait or ignore their negative behavior, but you love them anyway. If couples, families, and friends could love one another unconditionally with an open mind and heart and a willingness to look within themselves, then this relat...

        Today's Positive Quotation topic is "Breaking someone's spirit". Linda Picone states that words are such powerful weapons, but I will take it one step further and say that thoughts are just as powerful. Most of the spiritual books that I read discuss how powerful one's thoughts and intentions are. They claim that people create their experience of the world based on how you think about it. There are countless songs like the one by Sister Hazel that sing, "If you want to be somebody else, change your mind." Not change your circumstance, not change your words and not change someone else. Even in the movie "Don Jon" that I saw today, his love interest was trying to change him. Relationships can indeed be the catalyst for change, but the decision, the intention, the thought must come from within that person. We all know that hitting someone and calling names can hurt, but intentions and thoughts can hurt others as well as ourselves. When ...

           "When a friend is in trouble...Think of something appropriate and do it." said E.W. Howe. He was a novelist that passed away in 1937 yet that advice stands the test of time. Instead of asking others how you can help, spend some time in thought and decide what you can do to help whatever the circumstance is. This can be applied to helping people that you don't know as well. I have always wanted to help others yet I never felt that I had enough money to make a difference. After some soul searching, I realized that I could help others with my time. I volunteered at a women's shelter helping clean and organize their recreational space, in addition to watching the children so that the mothers could attend meetings. That was an appropriate way for me to help others in need. What is your way? Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

           Today's post in The Book of Positive Quotations quotes Charles De Gaulle as saying," Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own". After reading this, my first thought is that it is wrong, that people need others in times of crisis. How is it that to be a "person of character" one must handle it alone? After much contemplation, I have come to realize that although you can rely on family and friends to help you through a crisis, only you can truly understand what you feel and what would be the best response. A person's reaction could be talking it over with friends, accepting help from family members, but those responses still fall back on oneself. One must, on their own, accept the help if they choose after thought and consideration. My choice would be to read book after book about our soul and our purpose for living as a means of facing...

         What did Hermann Hesse mean by the quote, "Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom"? Knowledge is facts, information and skills that a person can acquire from experience, and the definition of wisdom is the quality of having knowledge and experience. At first glance they do not seem that different, but as you break the definitions down you realize that others can teach you knowledge through their words and their actions. Wisdom seems to be your own interpretation of the knowledge that you are exposed to. It is your thoughts, feelings and responses to all that you learn, situations that you are in and circumstances that you encounter. Intelligence is a trait that most people are in awe of, but in many ways that is a talent or a God given gift. One's ability to learn knowledge is determined by drive and ability, yet wisdom is limitless. All people possess an infinite ability to gain wisdom from the life they are living. Read my words and see my...