Let's Talk About Words

"We are made to persist . That's how we find out who we are." -Tobias Wolff       In October, I wrote a post called  Look for opportunities to try . I said that it is important to me to try new things even if I am not successful; that the journey is just important as the end results. Never stop trying is similar except it takes the action one step farther. After I take the leap to try something new, I need to be persistent in my endeavors. I went skiing in Colorado when I was 25. It was difficult for me, but I kept trying . Every time I fell down, I got back up. I feel that I am that way in life as well. I rarely give up unless I have tried every option that I can think of. With that attitude I am usually successful at what I attempt, so I never stop trying . Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com or follow my page at https://www.facebook.com/susanmarie.schulhof.7?ref=hl    

    Marcus Aurelius said, "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." It is so true that terrible deeds are done and horrible words are spoken in response to the anger felt. People do things that make me mad but sometimes the damage I inflict is worse than what was done to make me angry . I think that the emotion of anger can lead me and help me if I can respond and not just react to it. I wrote in a previous post called  By understanding our weakness, we become strong , that one weakness I have struggled with my entire life is anger. I either suppressed it and hurt myself or expelled it too forcefully and hurt others.    I am learning as I get older that my anger can show me what I do not want in my life as well as what I want. I am starting to learn from things that anger me since I know that uncontrolled anger hurts me as well as hurts others. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschu...

    "A celebrity is a person who works hard... to become well known then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized" is how comedian Fred Allen defined being famous . It is silly but true. When I was young, long before the days of Google and YouTube, singers, actors and athletes were put up on a pedestal. The only image that I had of them was what was distributed to the world. I remember how sad I was when I read that David Cassidy hated the image he was forced to be in front of his fans. I think of more recent celebrities like Britney Spears  and John Travolta who have challenges to face in their life when we believed they were living the best life imaginable. Just today I watched with my daughters the One Direction DVD that followed their This Is Us Tour. As I watched, I hoped that the guys all remain close to their families and stay down to earth. When I am in awe of the life celebrities live, I try to remind myself that they have problems as well. Celebr...

     Joan Baez said, "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one."  Although she was probably speaking about her fans when she referenced the ten thousand people, I agree that it is much more simple to be friends and acquaintances with many than to be in a close or intimate relationship with only one. In some ways, I show my worst self to the one that I love the most. I don't intend to yet I want to be completely honest and open with them so I share the secrets and insecurities that I normally hide from the world. After I share these parts of myself, I need to believe that they will still love me and hope that they stay. It is hard for me not to appear perfect and without problems to others so loving someone requires a level of trust for me. Read my words  and see  my quotes  at Sharing my truths or follow my FB page at Author Susan Marie Schulhof

     "Moral power is probably best when it is not used. The less you use it, the more you have."                                                                -Andrew Young         I feel that moral power is following your own life code and showing those values to others. I want my children to value the things that I do like hard work, kindness and honesty to name a few.  I tried to teach them by my example and by the sharing of my thoughts and ideas about life with them as well.  As they get older, they are  influenced by friends, teachers, co-workers and their own thoughts and ideas, yet h opefully, they have been impacted by my values and morals . I never wanted my girls to be afraid of me so I did not spank or hit them to control their behavior because strength ...

    Lil Wayne was quoted as saying, "I know it's an experience that I need to have if God's putting me through it." Although that quote could apply to many of the experiences of life, I think that mistakes and things that embarrass  me can teach me much about life, as well as about myself. Sometimes in life I am presented with a situation or a person that I encounter time and time again. Just bad luck or  coincidence? Or is there something I need to comprehend or acknowledge?  Maybe I need to learn compassion or forgiveness or just understand that no one is perfect, myself included. I believe that embarrassments help us to learn. Read my words  and see  my quotes  at Sharing my truths or follow my FB page at Author Susan Marie Schulhof

     "Among the attributes of God, although they are all equal, mercy shines with even more brilliance than justice."                                                -Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra     Mercy by definition is compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one's power to harm or punish. When a person has harmed me, an urge to hurt them back, through my words and actions, rises up within me.  Can I offer them mercy or do I punish them?  It feels fair to wound them back, an eye for an eye as the saying goes. Even if they show remorse and say that they want to do better, it is still difficult not to retaliate. No one likes to be hurt or harmed, but where does this retribution get me? I feel bad because I have harmed another; the offender may even feel justified and think "See that is w...

     Louis Auchincloss said, "Keep doing good deeds long enough and you'll probably turn out a good man in spite of yourself". According to this quote, the action of doing good deeds can actually help a someone become a   good  person, yet I believe the purpose of helping others must be in their thoughts as well. I know from my own experience that I often feel that don't have enough time in the day when I offer to help someone or volunteer, but once I do it, I feel great and wonder why I don't do more. Just like Louis said in the quote that if you help others long enough, it changes a person. I believe that if we all work together, we can change the world . Read my words and see my quotes at Sharing my truths or follow my FB page at Author Susan Marie Schulhof

    "These are the same stars , and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us , and each other."                                                                   -Sojourner Truth        One way to interpret this quote is that when we look up at the stars,  we see the same sky no matter where we are in the world . We are all connected to one another.  I think that is an important concept for people to understand, but I already wrote about that idea in the post called  I am only a small part of the universe . My own quote that "We can all see the stars" is meant to imply that we all should reach for the stars ; we should all pursue   our dreams . No m...

     "Never fail to know that if you are doing all of the talking , you are boring somebody."                                                      -Helen Gurley Brown    I have written a number of posts discussing the importance of listening ; to yourself, to others and even listening to the sounds all around us. What about the value of talking ? Whenever I hear about two friends or two people in a loving relationship claim that they never fight, my first thought is "But do they talk?" Do they share their thoughts and ideas with each other? If one or both simply do not say the things that bother them, that is not a healthy relationship . One person doing all of the talking is not healthy either. I got divorced after only 11 years of marriage so others may think that I am not in a position to give others relationship advi...

     Elbert Hubbard said, " Responsibility is the price of freedom ." It is one thing to be free yet it is important to make choices in our freedom that don't impinge on other people's rights nor on our own  safety . I have written previously about my life long desire to just jump in my car and go see the world. Although this is a dream of mine, I have children and bills and responsibilities. If I chose to "be free", it might hurt my children as well as the people at my work. It also could put me into an environment where my safety could be at risk if I traveled alone. Being free is important to me so I make conscious choices to enjoy the freedom of life with responsibility. I want to be free but safe as well. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com Or follow my author page at www.facebook.com/susanmarie.schulhof.7?ref=hl

    Buddha said, "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth ." Everyone has their own interpretation of the truth, yet there is still a truth . We can ignore and pretend all we want, yet the truth remains. Nothing can be changed until we face life with honesty, whatever that truth may be. I can look at my past and learn.  I can choose differently in the present based on what I learned from the past . I can face the future with honesty and truth . Truth to me is that wisdom that comes from the depth of my soul , from the very best part of who I am. I choose to see the past, present and future with honesty . Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

        "There is nothing sweeter than to be sympathized with."                                                               -George Santayana            My father died in the year of 2000 at the age of 55. When people hear that they feel sad for me. Sympathy I can accept but not one's pity. Sympathy and pity's definitions are very similar yet I think of pity as a negative reaction to someone's sorrow. I do not want people to pity me and look down on my misfortune. He was a great father, and I really enjoyed being around him. Many people are not as fortunate as I am. It is sad, and I can understand when people feel sympathetic that a wonderful father died at such a young age. No one needs to pity me though since I am lucky, as well as grateful, that I had him in my life ...

       There can only be a first time for everything once . You can only turn one years old once. You can only live your childhood once. You can only grow old once. Even things that can be done repeatedly in life like fall in love, buy a car, get a job or get married, are very special when it happens for the first time. We count down and push for a child's first step, their first word; then the children hope for their first crush, their first job, their first car. Everyone is in such a hurry to grow up, and I am not sure why that is, since life goes by so fast. I wish I had enjoyed the moments more, instead of anticipating the future  since firsts only happen once . Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

   Francis Quarles said, "Has fortune dealt you some bad cards? Then let wisdom make you a good gamester." I interpret this quote to mean that even if you are born into or have some negative aspects or situations in your life , you can change that. A person born into poverty does not need to stay in poverty. A person born with disabilities does not have to live a life controlled by it. A person who repeatedly encounters unfortunate situations at every turn does not have to live an unfortunate life . I am continually amazed by the stories I hear and read about that are full of hope and hard work. A child born in the ghetto that goes to Harvard. A child of a bitter divorce finding happily ever after in their own marriage. As often as I hear of these stories, I am also astounded by the tales of people born into privilege who squander their  opportunities and waste their lives. Life is what you make of it. No matter what you are dealt, make your own luck. ...

    "Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner …" according to Arthur Ashe. When I am sick or feeling down, I will lie around in my pajamas, not brushing my hair or washing my face. It seems like the more that I do that, the worse that I feel. Not taking care of myself makes everything seem even worse than it is especially  when life is not going like I want it to go . All it takes sometimes to turn this around is a little exercise, a warm shower, clean clothes and a smile . The saying "Act as if you already have it" really applies here. Even if I don't feel well, I act as if I do. Even if I don't feel happy or optimist, I act as if I am. Even if I don't feel my best, I try to look like a winner. Always look your best . Read my words and see my quote http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

     "I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all."                                                        -Laura Ingalls Wilder     Sometimes in life I have set my sights too high thinking that if I can attain them, they will bring me happiness . I wanted an ideal job; I wanted to make a lot of money; I wanted to have a wonderful spouse; I wanted to have perfect children. By desiring these things to make me happy, I was always striving , always searching . As I get older, I have come to understand that it is the simple things, like Laura Ingalls Wilder believed, that will bring me the happiness  that I seek. I feel happy when the infants at work give me a hug. I feel happy when my children and I spend time laughing and having fun together. I hav...

    Faith Baldwin said, " Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness." This quote can be interpreted in two different ways. One way would be the fact that others can ruin a person's self esteem very easily at times. As a parent, I believe that is true. I can repeatedly compliment and build up my daughters confidence , yet that same confidence can be shattered by a classmates cruelty too easily. I also believe that a person can time after time prove their character over and over to the world, yet one lapse in judgment can destroy their  reputation. In both examples, we must use care. We must be an example to the world who we are and who we want to be. I choose to be honest , loyal , kind , loving and faithful , but I must be steadfast in my life to show that to myself and to others. My character shows others and myself who I am. Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love . Don't be surly at home , then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers."                                                                   -Maya Angelou       Your home life can affect your entire world. There have been times in the past when I dreaded coming home; when my home life was not going well. It made me feel physically and emotionally upset when I got close to home. I would find excuses to be out so that I did not have to feel the sadness that I felt there. That is not how a house should feel. A house should feel like coming home. It should feel like love . It is not always perfect yet there are times that I just look around my house at my family and am so incredibly happy . It brings me such ...

   "The sharing of joy …forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of difference."                                                                      -Audre Lord    My interpretation of this quote is similar to a technique used when two people get in a fight as a way to help them get along better. It involves each saying things that they both like as a way of assisting them in connecting . This process aids people in understanding that we should not focus on our differences; that we should understand that we are more alike than we think we are. Before we can connect with others though you need to look for things that bring each of us joy . What do you get up excited to do in the mo...

    Walt Whitman was quoted as saying, "I c elebrate myself, and sing myself." People laugh because I start counting down my birthday two months in advance. In fact, this blog is a count down to my 50th birthday. I have always looked forward to my birthday because I feel like it is the one day to be selfish and have it be all about you. Maybe other people wouldn't like that, but I enjoy picking the restaurant and doing only what I would like to do all day. I also feel that there is so much good in my life and that I have a lot to be grateful for so why not honor my life ? I think everyone should be a little self indulgent one day a year. There is much to celebrate . Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof.blogspot.com

"The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything or nothing."                                                 -Lady Nancy Astor     I agree with Lady Aster that in life , there should be balance . Balancing my needs with my loved one's needs. Balancing my food intake with my exercise level. Balancing my expenditures with my income. What about balancing  consistency in my life with change ? There are people that stay the same year after year never changing in behavior and sometimes not even in looks. There is some comfort in stability , but it can also cause life to become stagnant and maybe even boring. Then there are others who move often, change jobs frequently and maybe even switch significant others often. Life is always different but never predictable or stable. There is an old saying about not throwing...

    One of Robert F. Kennedy's famous quotes is "There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?" As I researched this I found out that apparently George Bernard Shaw said this first, but this and ones similar resonate deeply with me. Anyone who has read my blog , or will read my books, understands how strongly I believe in the power of thoughts and intentions in life. Although he was probably talking about us as a nation, the words are true for individual lives as well. We can look at our life and ask why not? Why can't I pursue my passions ? Why can't I achieve my goals ? Why can't I live a life of my dreams ? We all can; we just need to believe and create it though our words, thoughts and actions. Any words, thought and actions that contradict these dreams, need to be acknowledged then dismissed. Intentions indeed create . Read my words and see my quotes  at http://su...

   "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these."                                                     -George Washington  Carver    I have written in my blog about youth and my children as well as  about having compassion. On the nineteenth, I will communicate my thoughts on sympathy. From today's quote I want to focus on tolerance which is, in my words, the willingness to put up with someone or some situation. I do believe that being tolerant is a willingness or a choice . I am not saying that you allow others to abuse you or even be rude; it is just accepting other people's differences. We all come to earth with our own lessons and ou...

    "The 'how' thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile 'ifs'", according to Norman Vincent Peale. I like problems that can be solved and figured out. Math was one of my favorite subjects for that reason. You could try different paths to the solution , yet typically there is only one way to get the answer. When faced with a problem in math , we were required to show all of our work so that the teacher knew we weren't cheating and so that he or she could see how we solved it or where we went wrong. I would look at the possible paths and try them all until I figured out the answer or found the solution . I loved that feeling of the light bulb moment when it all became clear.  Life on the other hand is messy and sometimes cannot be figured out.  I still try to approach issues in life like a math problem that needs to be solved . I examine all avenues to achieve the solution or outcome that I want. In life I t...

    "It doesn't matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it's important to realize that whatever you're doing, it's your first attempt at it."                                                                                -Wally Amos         I love this quote from Wall Amos for many reasons. First off, I think that no matter what you are doing, you do need to remember that it is your first time. The results will be different for each person that tries something, you included. The other part of this quote that resonates with me is the idea that even if people say that it cannot be done, a person that wants something bad enough should never give up. The picture with my quote is from a visit to Memphis where I lear...

    Mark Van Doren was quoted as saying, " Wit is the only wall between us and the dark." Last year, I attended a play at my daughter's high school called " Wit ", and there was a movie in 2001 of the same play. It was about a professor who had to reassess her life after being diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer . The reason I believe that it was called Wit was due to her ability to look at the irony of life . How often do we put off doing or saying things until the point comes that it no longer matters? How often can we look at people and circumstances of our life and find some small way to see the humor in it? Losing your hair while battling cancer means never having a bad hair day. Not being able to have children means that you are free to travel and live your life for yourself. Sometimes the only way to get through the dark and troubling times is to laugh at the irony of life . Read my words and see my quotes at http://susanmarieschulhof...

     "It is not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about facts , which may be entirely wrong. We can only make them right by discussion," according to Norman Angell. It is difficult to understand another person's perspective of facts , but we can all interpret facts differently. A fact is defined as, "Something that truly exists or happened. Sometimes receiving more information regarding a fact can make your opinion of it change, that is why it is important to read and talk to others about situations, people and circumstances. Our thoughts regarding a fact can be skewed by events that happened to you, your own family, your job or many other factors. This is one of the reasons that the jury selection process is so difficult. The jury  members will be presented with facts, but each person will have their own opinion about the truth . There have been many times in my life that I have viewed the facts one way only to chang...

   "We can chart our future clearly and wisely only when we know the path which has led to the present ."                                                                  -Adlai E. Stevenson          It is important as individuals as well as a country to examine and study one's history and path . I have never been fond of any history or political science classes, however I feel as a nation that   we must examine the choices we made and the  consequences of those decisions. We can learn about ourselves if we ponder our own feelings regarding the decisions of this country that were made on our behalf. As individuals, we also need to look at the path that we took to get where we are in life, regardless of whether we are happy with where we are or not. Often it takes a...

    Anouk Aimee said, "You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older ." Although I agree with the quote by Anouk Aimee, there is so much that cannot really be understood and appreciated until a person actually gets  older as well. The value of playing  is one situation that I recently have come to appreciate. There are a few reasons that the action of playing has been on my mind. First off, two of my daughters are away at college with my youngest completing her college applications for next year, so they are not at home much. I also have been looking through old photographs for in this blog, and it makes me nostalgic for when my daughters were little. In addition, we spent six hours on Thanksgiving watching old home movies, and often I was busy running around instead of on the floor playing. As I think back on my daughter's childhood, I never wish that I had cleaned more, corrected their behavior more or spent more time away from them,...

      " Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: It is the time for home ."                                                                 -Dame Edith Sitwell         Today is the first day of December . Some parts of the world already have snow , but it is sunny and 41 degrees as I write this in Chicago, but I know that winter is on the way. When the winter weather  arrives, it will bring us together for a couple of reasons. The first reason will be that the  snow  and cold temperatures keep us from leaving the house at times. We stay home and read and watch television, but hopefully we also spend time baking, playing games or watching movies together . Even if you live somewhere without ...